Report: Curious Individual

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Sergeant,

I am writing to report an unusual situation.

Yesterday, during my routine patrol, I saw a man crouching by the side of the path. At first, I thought he must be simply relieving himself, but then I gave him a closer look and noticed two things: first, his trousers were still on, and two, he had mud smeared all over his face and twigs sticking out of his hair.

I asked him if he was all right, to which he responded with anger, screaming: \What?! How did you even see me?! I’m in disguise!", which made me think he must have been sick with fever.