Luigis Girl¶

For information on The Definitive Edition, visit Luigi’s Girl.

Rewards: $1,500

After starting the mission, grab a car and head to the pink dot on the radar. This is the hospital; it is south-east of your current location. There, park beside the girl with the blue arrow, Misty. She’ll get in. Then simply go back

north-west to Luigi’s.

Mission: Dont Spanka Ma Bitch Up¶

For information on The Definitive Edition, visit Don’t Spanka Ma Bitch Up.

Rewards: $4,000

After the cut-scene, go grab the nearby bat, then grab a car. Head south-east to Portland Harbor. At the harbor, as you go through the gate, you’ll find some guy with an arrow above his head.

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Of course, what else to do but kill him? But rather than get out of the car, just drive over him and feel pleasure at hearing a squishy noise.

Afterwards, get the car the guy was next to, then drive back towards Luigi’s. A little to the north of there, you’ll find the Pay ‘N’ Spray. Use it to finish the mission.

Mission: Drive Misty For Me¶

For information on The Definitive Edition, visit Drive Misty For Me.

Rewards: $1,000, Jobs from Joey Leone and Jobs from Marty Chonks

Now grab a car and drive northward to the park in Hepburn Heights. Park in the blue marker and press L3 to make Misty come out of the building and into your car. Then drive a while southward to Trenton, where you’ll find your next destination. Park in the blue marker for a cut-scene.

Mission: Pump-Action Pimp¶

For information on The Definitive Edition, visit Pump-Action Pimp

Note: Before starting this mission, get a heavy, fast vehicle. I recommend a Coach or Fire-truck. You may also want to steal some Shotgun rounds by entering Police Cars.

After the mission starts, head to the back of Ammu-Nation (to the east) to find a free Pistol. Hey, it’s free, so why not?

Now, begin to follow the red dot on the map, your target. Ram this car, a Diablo Stallion, a few times. Driving into it from the side at a high speed, or by driving alongside it and pushing into traffic or something are very effective ways of damaging the vehicle quickly.

(Especially if the former method is executed near the Chinatown ocean front and you push them into the water, or you’re going down the St. Mark’s hill. It’s always just funny-looking.)

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Anyway, assuming you didn’t end up pushing the car into the water, you’ll then have to deal with the guys in the Diablo Stallion. They themselves have Shotguns.

You can either go at them with the Shotgun I suggested, drive right into them with the vehicle, or, perhaps the safest method, drive towards them and bail at the last second to really squish them without risking too much damage.

Mission: The Fuzz Ball¶

For information on The Definitive Edition, visit The Fuzz Ball

Rewards: $4,000 - $6,000

Before starting this mission, I highly recommend getting either a Coach bus or a fast four-seater vehicle. For example, the Police Car or the Taxi. After getting the mission started, get in your chosen vehicle. You’ll then have to drive around Portland and pick up Luigi’s girls, marked by the green dots on the map.

After picking up as many as you can carry (one for two-seater car, three for a four-seater, and eight for a Coach), head over to the Old School Hall in Chinatown. It is south of Luigi’s place, and just a short distance from the Callahan Bridge. Park in the marker to drop off the girls.

If you didn’t get four girls at least, you’ll need to make a second trip for some more of them. Continue doing this for as long as possible. Once you bring four, though, the mission is effectively over. You can bring another four extras for an additional $500 each.