On this page you’ll find tips about how to spark a romantic relationship with Kaiden. Only a female Shepard can romance Kaiden.
Romancing Kaiden is arguably less about appeasing him and more about ensuring Liara doesn’t sneak her way into your bed. One easy way to do this is to simply avoid the mission on [Therum] for as long as possible, instead opting to complete [Feros], [Noveria] and [Virmire] first, as this simply won’t allow enough time for Liara to grow attached to you.
Speaking of which, almost all romance progression will occur after completing missions - the aforementioned quests on [Therum], [Feros], [Noveria] and [Virmire]. The order in which you do these doesn’t matter (aside from keeping Liara out of your party), and the completion of these missions are more progression benchmarks than limited windows of opportunity. As long as you chat a romantic interest up sometime after completing one mission but before completing another, you should make the progress you need (assignments don’t matter - complete as many of these as you want in between missions).
While sabotaging Liara by simply avoiding her is an effective way to keep her from interfering, it’s not entirely recommended (especially if you really need a biotic), and it’s not the only way to thwart her romantic intrusions: you can try to friend-zone her whenever possible, if she asks about Kaiden, tell her you’re interested in him, and generally pick Renegade (bottom right) dialog options when talking to Liara to put her off. Or you could just ignore her altogether and refrain from talking to her on the Normandy.
Not surprisingly, you should do the exact opposite when talking to Kaiden. Flirt with him every chance you get, pick the Paragon replies (upper right), tell him he’s a special boy and deny you’re interested in anybody else. Especially certain blue-skinned ladies lurking in the shadows. So long as you pick the obvious responses (flirty, nice, interested) and talk to him on the Normandy after each mission, you should be fine… well, save for one rather major complication.
On Virmire you’ll be given a choice: you must send one of your human squad members with Captain Kirrahe. This doesn’t matter so much, but whoever ends up being assigned to this task will end up at the AA tower, while later on the other human character in your squad will find themselves arming a bomb. Through plot contrivances, both Ashely and Kaiden are put in peril - one at the AA tower and one near the bomb, and you only have time to save one. Obviously if you chose to rescue Ashley and abandon Kaiden, your romance will end up just as dead as he does.
Flirt with Kaiden, pick Paragon dialog options, fend off Liara by whatever means necessary, and avoid letting Kaiden get vaporized on Virmire and you should be good to go. You’ll get confirmation that you’re locked into a romance shortly thereafter, when the Normandy is grounded by Udina. You’ll get a scene with Shepard near the lockers in the hangar bay, where your romantic interest and you will have a near-kiss before being interrupted by Joker.
- Talk to Kaiden after every mission: [Therum], [Feros], [Noveria] and [Virmire].
- Pick Paragon options (upper right), avoid Renegade options (lower right) whenever possible.
- Use common sense: flirt with him, don’t friend-zone him, don’t tell him you’re interested in other squad members.
- Try to do the opposite with Liara; do not flirt with her, tell her you’re interested in Kaiden, pick Renegade dialog options (lower right), or just ignore her on the Normandy as much as possible.
If you manage to strike up a romantic relationship, you’ll earn the Paramour I achievement.
Establish a romantic relationship in Mass Effect 1, 2 or 3