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Baldur's Gate 3

How to Romance Astarion in Baldur's Gate 3

By
Scott Peers

"Astarion" iconAstarion is one of the more difficult characters to romance in Baldur’s Gate 3, especially if you’re trying to play a character with a consistent moral compass. Unless that compass points towards opportunism, narcissism, ruthlessness, self-absorption, and a general egomania that is difficult to pair with more unambiguously good characters such as Halsin. Still, there’s hope for those who want to do good and still fall for Astarion. It’ll just take you longer to get there, and the outcomes will be slightly different for the nature of your relationship. On this page we’ll show you how to gain approval with Astarion, including the kinds of actions that you should avoid to prevent it from plummeting once you’ve obtained it.

Astarion Romance Guide, Baldur’s Gate 3.

How to Recruit Astarion Near the Nautiloid Crash Site in Act 1

It’s difficult to miss the opportunity to recruit Astarion if you fully explore the region around the crash site of the "Nautiloid" iconNautiloid during the first stages of Act 1, but if for any reason you slipped by without noticing him, be sure to check our How to Recruit Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3 page for all the details. You’ll want to recruit him early on in your playthrough so that he can begin to react to your actions, which will influence his approval rating and make it more likely that you can romance him during Act 1.

How to Build Approval With Astarion in Baldur’s Gate 3

The process of building approval with Astarion can go one of two ways. You can either play to his nature by being selfish, ruthless, and even cruel from the start, or you can stick to your preferred morality which may involve more compromises, leniency, and generosity. If you choose the former method, you can go down this path from the start of the story by choosing the option of violence almost wherever you encounter it, or by making a show of your power (including with the use of your Illithid powers) in dialogue exchanges. In general, if there’s an option to intimidate, lie, or cheat someone out of a situation, you should take it. Where all that fails, you should fight before you make any compromises.

The “Bad” Path

If you’re following a sense of morality which consists of your interests being placed above all others, there are still some compromises to be made in favor of Astarion. You’ll encounter these at various points in the story, but without spoiling anything they can be summed up by the following guidelines:

  • Don’t goad Astarion into doing things he doesn’t want to
  • Be supportive of his desire for absolute power
  • Avoid commenting on his condition in a negative way

Aside from these rather vague rules to follow (trust me, they’ll make sense when the scenarios arise!), you can follow the path of a maniacal murderer without restraint, and Astarion will be with you all the way. One of the first opportunities to do this is to not help the Tieflings at the Emerald Grove during Act 1. Instead, if you side with the goblins and the Absolute, Astarion will like you more, and you can attempt to bed him sooner.

The “Good” Path

If you’d rather follow a more neutral or good path, where you help those in need and resist the temptation to exert destructive power, there’s still a path for romancing Astarion early on. However, if you want to take this path, we recommend always siding with him when he expresses a preference to the outcome of a situation. You should also consider killing at least a few potential enemies rather than resolving conflicts with words. A good example of this kind of opportunity arises at the "Overgrown Ruins" iconOvergrown Ruins, where you encounter some bandits. You can still kill these bandits and not have your morality (or approval with other vaguely “good” characters) suffer much from it.

If you want to begin your romance with Astarion during Act 1 but still remain on the path of general goodness, you should leave the conflict with the Tieflings and the goblins until you’ve done other things in the story, and most of the side content in Act 1, first. This will give you enough time to build your approval with Astarion by doing things that he appreciates, without necessarily having to side with the Absolute and kill the Tieflings. When you’re ready, you can go through with saving the Tieflings by killing the goblin leaders, then speak with Astarion in your camp, where a party takes place.

(1 of 2) You can speak with Astarion at your camp celebration after defeating the goblins / tieflings.

You can speak with Astarion at your camp celebration after defeating the goblins / tieflings. (left), You’ll find it easier to romance Astarion if you’re committed to a generally evil playthrough. (right)

Another good opportunity to increase Astarion’s approval of you early on is in the goblin camp itself. Here you’ll find an NPC named Abdirak, and he’ll ask you to worship his deity (Loviatar) in a rather unique way. If you accept, it will substantially improve your relationship with Astarion. You can read more about this interaction on our Abdirak Dialogue Choices in Baldur’s Gate 3 page.

How to Sleep With Astarion in BG3

The first opportunity you’ll have to bed Astarion comes during Act 1, when you’re having a party at your camp after saving the Emerald Grove. If you’ve been generally evil in your playthrough so far, you’ll probably be partying with the cult of the Absolute instead, and the path to romancing Astarion will be obvious. However, in this good scenario, there are a few key lines of dialogue that you’ll need to respond to with the right choices if you want to bed Astarion now. We’ve recreated these below for your convenience, along with the correct replies that you’ll need to choose.

Astarion: “I hate it. This is awful.”
- Reply: “It’s not that bad. Think of all the goblins you killed.”

Astarion: “Still, I would’ve liked more for my trouble than a pat on the head and vinegar for wine.”
- Reply: “True. The goblins would have thrown a wilder party.”

Astarion: “I’m just looking for a little more excitement. A little more fun.”
- Reply: “And what’s your idea of ‘a little fun’”?

Astarion: “Let’s wait until things quieten down. Once the others are asleep, we’ll find each other.”
- Reply: “All right, let’s do it. I’ll see you later.

At this point, all you need to do is go to sleep in your camp. The first romance scene with Astarion will then commence, and from there it’s just a matter of doing more of the same. As stated above, there will be differences depending on whether or not you want to follow the path of “good” or “evil”, but so long as you do both with Astarion’s basic nature of wanting to dominate and trick others in mind, you should be good. Just don’t go showing too much altruism to those in need. This can actually tank Astarion’s approval rating, so you’ll need to let some people down if you want to romance him.

A few more tips for the road: if there are any dialogue choices which give you the option to compromise or appear weak in any way, you should avoid them. Astarion will disapprove, and regaining his approval can be difficult. If there’s a way to trick someone and still do good, you should take it. And never, ever disparage his condition, but support him in flaunting it as a good thing.

More Baldur’s Gate 3 Guides

If you’re looking for more content related to Baldur’s Gate 3 guides, including how to romance other characters, check the links below.

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Guide Information
  • Publisher
    Larian Studios
  • Platforms,
    Mac, PC, PS5, XB X|S
  • Genre
    Adventure, RPG
  • Guide Release
    6 April 2023
  • Last Updated
    14 June 2024
    Version History
  • Guide Author

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Baldur’s Gate 3 is an immersive roleplaying game set in the Dungeons & Dragons universe. It features a rich story with multiple outcomes for almost every encounter, and plenty of character customization features including more races, classes, subclasses and party combinations than you are ever likely to explore. The seemingly endless possibilities and numerous choices that you can make throughout your journey make a helping hand always welcome, and that’s where we come in! This guide features the following:

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